Gifted Children and their Social and Emotional Difficulties

What might families notice?

Signs that a child may need more support can include:

• losing interest in learning or regularly saying school feels pointless
• becoming very upset by mistakes, uncertainty or work that takes effort
• hiding interests or abilities to fit in
• finding it difficult to form or maintain satisfying friendships
• frequent worry, irritability, sadness, physical complaints or avoidance
• a marked difference between what the child appears capable of and what they can consistently show.

These experiences are not unique to gifted children and they do not identify giftedness or a mental health condition. Look for patterns, duration and impact. Ask the child what the situation feels like and compare what is happening across home, school and other settings.

How parents and carers can help

1. Listen before solving. Ask open questions about learning, friendships and pressure. Reflect the child’s experience without deciding that giftedness must be the cause.
2. Make room for mistakes. Notice effort, curiosity, flexibility and recovery after setbacks. Adults can model trying, revising and asking for help.
3. Support a broad identity. Value kindness, humour, creativity, movement, rest and relationships as well as achievement. A child is more than a score or academic result.
4. Create varied opportunities for connection. Shared-interest groups, sport, creative activities and age-mixed settings can widen the chance of finding compatible peers. Follow the child’s preferences rather than forcing a particular social style.
5. Collaborate with school. Share specific observations and ask what staff notice. Agree on a small number of adjustments, how success will be measured and when the plan will be reviewed.
6. Protect recovery time. Advanced learning should not require a child to give up sleep, play or downtime. Watch for an overloaded schedule and invite the child to help set priorities.

How schools can support gifted learners

NSW guidance describes high potential and gifted education across intellectual, creative, physical and social-emotional domains. It emphasises ongoing assessment, evidence-informed talent development and collaboration with students and families.

Helpful school responses may include:

• using multiple sources of information to understand strengths, interests and current learning needs
• reducing unnecessary repetition once learning has been demonstrated
• providing appropriately complex work, enrichment or extension with clear support
• considering flexible grouping or acceleration when suitable for the individual child, with consultation and ongoing review
• building belonging through respectful classroom practice, student voice and access to peers with shared interests
• providing reasonable adjustments when a gifted child also has disability or another learning need
• reviewing both learning and wellbeing outcomes, rather than assuming that one strategy will suit every gifted learner.

Acceleration is sometimes avoided because of concern about long-term psychological harm. Longitudinal evidence does not support that concern for appropriately selected gifted students. Decisions still need to be individual, collaborative and monitored over time.

When a child would benefit from explicit practice in friendship and emotional skills, a broader social-emotional learning program may be useful. Quirky Kid’s Best of Friends school program is one option for schools. It is not a giftedness-specific program and should not replace individual assessment when concerns are persistent or complex.

When assessment or psychological support may help

Consider professional support when distress is persistent, increasing or affecting sleep, eating, school attendance, learning, friendships, family life or participation in usual activities. Seek help because of the child’s needs and functioning, not simply because they have been described as gifted.

A psychologist can help clarify what is contributing to a child’s experience and whether anxiety, low mood, attention, learning, disability, family stress or environmental mismatch needs to be considered. Assessment should draw on more than one source of information and may involve the child, family and school.

A cognitive assessment may be useful when there is a clear question about a child’s thinking and learning profile. It does not measure every aspect of ability, potential or wellbeing and one score cannot explain a child’s social or emotional experience.

If you are unsure what kind of support is appropriate, learn about Quirky Kid’s psychology consultations or contact the team to discuss next steps. Families seeking a broader introduction to identification and learning needs can also read Gifted and Talented Children.

With thoughtful challenge, responsive relationships and attention to the whole child, gifted children can be supported to learn, connect and develop in ways that fit their individual needs.