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Helping Children Enjoy Sport: Podcast Companion
Sport can offer movement, friendship, skill development and enjoyment, but not every child enjoys every sporting environment. Dislike or refusal can reflect the activity, coach, group, sensory demands, past experience, pressure, cost, access or a mismatch between the child’s interests and what adults have chosen.
This earlier podcast episode and its complete historical transcript are preserved below. The companion guide adds current evidence and a practical framework for parents, carers and schools.
Sport and physical activity are not the same
Australian guidance recommends that school-aged children and teenagers accumulate at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity each day. Organised sport can contribute, but it is not the only route. Walking, cycling, dancing, active play, martial arts, swimming, skateboarding and family activities can all support movement.
A child who dislikes competitive team sport is not necessarily unmotivated or inactive. Start by asking which forms of movement feel interesting, comfortable or meaningful. The first goal may be enjoyable participation, not competition, selection or long-term commitment.
Find the reason before choosing the strategy
Ask with curiosity: “What is the hardest part?” and “Is there anything you like about it?” Listen for specific barriers, such as noise, unpredictable contact, changing coaches, teasing, fear of mistakes, uniforms, pain, travel, performance pressure or not understanding the rules.
Different barriers require different responses. More praise will not fix bullying. Repeated exposure will not make an unsafe coach appropriate. A quieter group may help a child who is overwhelmed by whistles and crowds, while a child who wants more challenge may need a better skill match. Treat refusal as information to investigate rather than a behaviour to defeat.
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Support choice and ownership
Research on autonomy-supportive coaching suggests that adults can learn behaviours that offer meaningful choice, explain expectations and acknowledge the young person’s perspective. Evidence that these interventions improve every child outcome is still developing, but the approach is consistent with healthy motivation.
- Offer two or three realistic activities rather than an open-ended demand to choose.
- Let the child have a trial before committing to a term.
- Agree on how long the trial will last and when the family will review it.
- Separate encouragement from pressure, threats or comparisons.
- Allow the child to prefer social, individual, competitive or non-competitive movement.
Choice is not the same as allowing every commitment to end immediately. Families can agree to complete a short trial or finish a session safely, while still taking pain, bullying, panic or unsafe conduct seriously.
Choose the environment as carefully as the activity
The same sport can feel entirely different with another coach, group size or competition level. Observe whether the coach explains skills, notices effort, handles mistakes respectfully and makes adjustments. Ask how the club responds to bullying, injury, disability and child-safety concerns.
For a child who is anxious, perfectionistic or sensory-sensitive, consider:
- a smaller group or one-to-one introduction
- visiting the venue when it is quiet
- meeting the coach before the first session
- practising one component at home without an audience
- ear protection, clothing adaptations or planned breaks where safe and permitted
- a predictable visual outline of the session
- watching part of a session before joining.
These supports should increase access, not communicate that discomfort is dangerous. Build participation gradually and review whether the child is becoming more comfortable, more capable or simply more distressed.
Further Reading
Keep adult behaviour on the child’s side
Children notice sideline criticism, comparisons and anxiety about results. Before a session, ask what kind of support the child wants. Afterwards, begin with connection rather than analysis. “What did you enjoy?” or “How did it feel today?” usually offers more information than “Did you win?”
Praise specific effort, teamwork, courage, recovery after a mistake or a skill that improved. Avoid using praise as disguised pressure, such as celebrating only when the child performs above their level. Technical feedback is best kept brief and, where possible, coordinated with the coach.
Protect recovery, health and development
More training is not always better. Persistent pain, fatigue, sleep disruption, declining performance, irritability or loss of enjoyment can signal excessive load, injury or burnout. Children need rest, sleep, nutrition, unstructured time and opportunities to develop outside sport.
Seek medical or allied health advice for persistent pain, repeated injury, dizziness, fainting, breathing concerns, disordered eating, significant fatigue or another physical-health concern. A psychologist can help when anxiety, perfectionism, confidence, attention, family conflict or past experiences are interfering with participation.
What participation research means
Reviews commonly find that organised sport participation is associated with better mental health and social outcomes. These findings are encouraging, but studies vary widely and often cannot separate the effect of sport from selection and context. Children who already feel well supported may be more likely to join and remain in sport.
Dropout research identifies multiple interacting influences, including enjoyment, competence, relationships, competing demands and the sporting environment. Leaving one activity is not automatically a failure or a mental-health risk. It may be a sensible response to poor fit, or a step towards a different form of movement.
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Try a two-week reset
- Name the barrier. Write down the child’s main concern in their own words.
- Choose one adjustment. Change the group, duration, coach contact, sensory demand or level of challenge.
- Set a small participation goal. Examples include attending, warming up, practising one skill or staying for 20 minutes.
- Rate the experience. Ask about enjoyment, comfort and effort, not only performance.
- Review after two weeks. Continue, adapt, pause or try another activity based on the pattern.
If the child stops, help them identify what they learned about their preferences. Maintain an accessible form of movement while the family explores another option.
Consider access, identity and family circumstances
Sporting choices are also shaped by fees, transport, equipment, culture, gender, disability, location and family time. A child cannot freely choose an activity that the family cannot access. Be honest about practical limits, then look for community programs, school options, equipment libraries or lower-cost forms of movement. Ask whether uniforms, facilities and team practices feel inclusive and safe. The goal is not to make one family overcome every structural barrier. It is to find a sustainable opportunity in which the child can participate with dignity.
How Quirky Kid can help
A Quirky Kid psychologist can explore barriers to participation and support emotional regulation, confidence, anxiety or family communication when these concerns extend beyond ordinary preference. The Power Up performance psychology program is designed for licensed organisations supporting children’s performance skills. For non-urgent individual concerns, explore child and family psychology consultations.
Key points
- Enjoyment improves when the activity, environment and level fit the child.
- Organised sport is one form of physical activity, not the only acceptable one.
- Choice, respectful coaching and gradual exposure can support participation.
- Pain, bullying, unsafe conduct and sustained distress require investigation, not more pressure.
- Leaving one sport can be useful information and an opportunity to find a better fit.
This article provides general educational information. It does not replace individual medical, developmental or psychological advice.
View article references
Sources and further reading
- Zhang, H., et al. (2024). Why do students drop out of regular sport in late adolescence? A systematic review.
- Raabe, J., Schmidt, K., Carl, J., & Höner, O. (2019). The effectiveness of autonomy support interventions with physical education teachers and youth sport coaches: A systematic review. Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, 41(6), 345–355.
- Bengtsson, D., et al. (2025). Health-related outcomes of youth sport participation: A systematic review and meta-analysis. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, 22, 89.
- Australian Sports Commission. (n.d.). Nurturing a child’s sporting development.
- Australian Government Department of Health, Disability and Ageing. (2026). Physical activity recommendations for children and young people aged 5 to 17 years.
Episode transcript
[00:00:00-00:00:16] Doctor Kimberley O’Brien introduces the challenge of getting children to enjoy sports. Hi. You're listening to Dr. Kimberley O'Brien, child psychologist at the Quirky Kid Clinic. We’re talking today about why kids might dislike school sports, and whether parents should be concerned, as well as how to encourage children to enjoy sports.
[00:00:16-00:02:56] Often children dislike school sports because of negative experiences, such as sensitivity to loud and overwhelming environments, pressure from authorities, perfectionism, discomfort with competitive environments, and lack of exposure to sports as a positive experience. About why kids might dislike school sports, or sports in general: often it can come from negative experience. It could be that kids could be enrolled, even as toddlers, in some indoor KinderGyms or soccer lessons, that might have lots of noise, whistles, and other kids. If children are sensitive to their environment or have sensory issues, sometimes they can find these environments quite stressful.Think about what negative experiences kids might have gone through in the past which might impact their perception of sports. Sometimes it's pressure from parents to participate, or even a negative relationship with a coach, that might put them off the idea of participating in sports.Other kids might be perfectionists and find it sort of frustrating or embarrassing to try a new skill. When they're not good at something they refuse to participate, and they just don't want to fail. Sometimes that can be one reason behind kids not feeling comfortable with team sports.Another idea could be that they are not comfortable in a competitive environment. In some schools, children do become competitive with sports. Teachers can encourage competition between kids. Thinking about how the child might feel, they may feel inadequate or self-conscious when they're in a competitive environment.And another possibility around a child's negative experience related to sports could be that parents have had similarly negative experiences with sports. So parents might actually be reluctant to seek out opportunities for kids to participate in sports, just trying to be protective with their children and not wanting to put them in a competitive sports environment. They may avoid sports and maybe favour technology, for example, instead of sports. So when kids get to school, the idea of participating in sports might not be something that they've experienced before on a regular basis.Other well-meaning parents might start off kids in a soccer or nippers type of environment, where there's lots and lots of kids learning a new skill. And this can also be overwhelming for children.[00:02:56-00:06:27] When you introduce kids to sports, start small, in low-pressure environments. Respect their resistance, and praise them for their efforts and improvements. It's also important for parents to build a positive relationship with the trainer and model participation sports. For perfectionist kids, have them study theory online before attempting to physically learn a new skill. So when you're thinking about how to introduce kids to sports, here's some tips on how to do that:Step one, start with a small environment, a few kids. Think about how to increase their exposure to sports gradually. You might use a soft toy rather than a ball when you're practicing catching or throwing, at home in a safe setting. Or instead of starting small, you might enroll your child in a one-on-one coaching clinic. For example, tennis, rather than starting with a large group setting like soccer or large team sports.It's also really important to build a positive relationship with the coach or trainer. This will help young people to feel safe with that unfamiliar adult, and to boost their motivation to go along on a regular basis. Parents can probably relate to this one when it comes to choosing the right swim teacher for their toddler. If the relationship is really positive between parent and teacher, then often kids will feel safer and be more interested in participating. Having a regular coach or trainer rather than having a different person each week will also help kids to feel more comfortable, more willing to participate.Another point when it comes to helping kids cope with sports, is to respect their resistance. So if kids are resistant to participating, don't push them or punish them. Try to praise any improvements that you've noticed. "It's great that I saw you watching the other kids today." "I noticed you were listening to the instructor today." Just highlighting the positives rather than letting them know what they're not doing.It might also be worthwhile to shop around and find an environment that suits you and your child. It could be that something more open. For example, circus skills with a free trial lesson might make you and your young person feel more comfortable, rather than paying in advance for a full term and then increasing the pressure on participating week after week.Parents are also encouraged to model participation sports. That could just be playing beach soccer or backyard cricket. Leading by example will help young people also want to participate. Sometimes just laughter will help to lighten the mood when it comes to participating in sports, but adults should keep in mind that it's good to laugh when adults are playing sports, but not so much when a child's learning a new skill. Try and refrain from laughing if they're struggling with a new skill, because kids might become self-conscious.For those kids that I mentioned before, that may be perfectionists and prefer to not participate until they're good at a particular skill - these kids often benefit from doing online tutorials before they even practically participate. Lots of theory and following instructions online can make kids feel comfortable enough to attempt to ride a bike or attempt to serve a tennis ball. So keep that in mind as well.[00:06:27-00:08:35] Performance psychology offers a few tips on how to help kids enjoy sports. Let them choose their sport, give them breaks, point out their improvements, and praise them for trying. Make sure that they're doing sports in a low-pressure environment that praises effort over results. Get them to score how much effort they put into their sport on a weekly basis, and hopefully, you will see improvement over time as they get more comfortable. Now just finishing up: I'm going to take you through final tips to help kids, teachers, and parents, and help kids to enjoy sports more. All this information is linked to performance psychology. We know that Olympians often use performance psychology such as goal-setting, arousal regulation, and positive self-talk to help them get the best out of their sporting performance. You can find out more about this in our "Power Up" program which is the only performance psychology program for children, developed by Quirky Kid. So if you want to find out more, have a look at "Power Up" on the quirkykid.com.au website. So these final tips are: let your child choose their sport. Having more choice will increase participation and motivation. Number two, give them regular breaks. Number three, point out their improvements, not their problems with the new skills. Number four, praise your kids for trying. It's really important to be mindful of the environment in which they're learning that new sport or participating in sports. So if there's a competition or a coach putting pressure or putting down students that are not reaching the results that they would like, remember to look for a new environment that praises effort over results. And last but not least, ask kids to score themselves in terms of effort. That might give them a 6/10 for the first week, and then get them to monitor their effort week after week. Over time I would hope that as they feel more comfortable in the environment, they are more likely to want to go back and continue practising that new sport.All right, I hope you've enjoyed that little session about kids and sports. And keep in touch! I'm Kimberley O'Brien from the Quirky Kid Clinic. Thanks for listening.
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