How to Encourage Children to Try New Things

1. Choose a goal with your child

Ask what the child would like to be able to do, and why it matters to them. An adult goal such as completing swimming lessons may contain several child goals: feeling safe in water, joining friends or learning one stroke. If the child does not want the activity, consider whether there is a genuine health, safety or participation need. Where there is no such need, another challenge may be more meaningful.

Turn the goal into a visible, specific first step. “Be confident at drama” is vague. “Watch the first ten minutes from the doorway” or “say one line during practice” gives the child something they can understand and review.

2. Build a just-manageable step

For anxiety-driven avoidance, repeatedly escaping every feared situation can keep the fear going. At the same time, flooding a child with an overwhelming experience can damage trust. Start with a step that brings some discomfort but remains safe and manageable, then repeat it before increasing the challenge.

A child worried about swimming might first look at photos of the venue, visit when it is quiet, sit beside the pool, put their feet in and later join part of a lesson. The sequence should fit the child. Offer breaks, but try to return to the agreed step rather than ending every attempt at the first sign of discomfort.

Australian clinical guidance recommends evidence-based psychological care for anxiety disorders and emphasises assessment of the individual child and context. Everyday graded practice can borrow the principle of gradual approach, but families should not attempt to deliver clinical exposure therapy without appropriate guidance when anxiety is severe or complex.

3. Preview the people, place and plan

Uncertainty often becomes more manageable when children know what to expect. Visit the venue, view photos, identify the bathroom and quiet space, meet the instructor, practise the equipment or write a simple sequence of what will happen. Ask the organisation about disability access, communication supports and sensory adjustments.

Preparation should answer useful questions, not become an endless search for certainty. Agree on a simple plan for arriving, participating and leaving, including who the child can approach for help.

4. Offer choice and a reliable way to pause

Choice can increase a child’s sense of control. Offer two acceptable options: watch or join the warm-up, speak first or second, use the noisy entrance or the quieter one. Too many choices can be overwhelming, so keep them limited and concrete.

Agree on a pause signal and what it means. A pause might involve two minutes outside with an adult, headphones or a drink, followed by a decision about the next manageable step. A pause is not a punishment, and the child should not have to become extremely distressed before support is available.

5. Model learning rather than performing failure

Adults can show how they approach unfamiliar tasks: “I do not know how this works yet, so I am going to ask for instructions.” If you make a mistake, respond naturally and repair it. There is no need to manufacture failure, laugh away genuine disappointment or disclose an adult story that could burden the child.

Notice specific actions within the child’s control: “You asked the coach a question”, “You stayed for the warm-up” or “You told me the room was too loud.” Praise can recognise courage, communication, preparation and recovery. Avoid promising that effort always produces success or describing a child as brave only when they comply.

6. Repeat, review and adjust

Learning often requires several experiences. After the attempt, ask what was easier, what was harder and what should change next time. Success might mean completing the step, using a support, communicating a need or learning that the activity is not a good fit.

If the child was overwhelmed, return to an earlier step or change the environment. If the step became easy, agree on a small progression. Keep notes only if the child finds them useful; tracking should not make them feel watched or graded.

Quirky Kid’s Building Resilience and Encouraging Independence workshop is the closest active workshop match for parents seeking structured examples of manageable challenges and age-appropriate independence.

The Growth Mindset Workbook is the most closely related product for reflection, self-motivation and perseverance. Its public shop page currently marks it out of stock, so check availability before relying on it.

Adapt encouragement to the child

Children with autism, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, disability, developmental differences, trauma, chronic illness or sensory and communication needs may require adjustments before practice is useful. Supports might include visual schedules, a familiar person, additional processing time, smaller groups, alternative communication, accessible equipment or an agreed exit plan.

Culture, family resources and previous experiences also shape which opportunities are available and feel safe. Avoid presenting participation in expensive lessons, travel or public performance as the measure of confidence. New experiences can be small and local, such as preparing a different recipe, taking another route, asking a shop assistant a question or learning a household skill.

Know when to seek support

Occasional anxiety is part of childhood. Seek advice when fear or avoidance is intense, lasts over time or substantially affects attendance, sleep, relationships, health, family activities or the child’s ability to pursue their own goals. A GP can consider physical, developmental and mental-health factors and discuss referral options. A psychologist can assess the pattern and develop a supported plan with the child and family.

Parent-focused interventions can help childhood anxiety, although a 2022 systematic review found variation in study quality and no clear evidence that one parent-only format is best. This supports a measured approach rather than promising that a set of tips will build resilience for every child.

Families may also find Quirky Kid’s guides to perfectionism in children, emotional regulation in older children and preparing for family road trips useful. You can explore child and family psychology consultations or contact the Quirky Kid team for non-urgent service questions.

This article provides general educational information. It does not replace individual medical, psychological or disability advice.